168. How to Tell the Difference Between an Expat and an Immigrant

In this solo episode, I share about why I don't consider myself an expat, even though I moved from the United States to Mexico. I break down what the word "expat" actually means, who it tends to describe, and why I believe it's rooted in privilege. I also share why I see myself as an immigrant instead, coming back to the country my parents fled decades ago, and what it's been like navigating that identity almost a year into our move to México.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode168

What You'll Hear:
〰 The real definition of "expat" and who it typically applies to
〰 Why being a daughter of Mexican immigrants changes my relationship to this move
〰 The difference between cultural tourism and cultural immersion during your first year abroad
〰 Why I believe "expat" is a privileged word that avoids the term "immigrant"

Resources Mentioned:
〰 Join the VLM newsletter for deeper reflections like this one
〰 1:1 relocation consultations for families considering a move to Mexico
〰 Send your thoughts: podcast@vivalamami.com or DM me on Instagram @vivalamami

Transcript

1:05

Hola, hola. Welcome to the Viva La Mami podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Cuevas There have been multiple times on social media that people have talked to me that I'm just your typical expat because I have moved from the United States to Mexico. And I am here to share that I am not an expat, and I don't consider myself an expat porque I know mi cultura Mexicana. I am a daughter of Mexican immigrants who did flee their own country when, at a time when Mexico was not doing very well, especially for people who come from small pueblitos. And now that my parents, if you could say, like, they sort of achieved the American dream, they gave me permission and the opportunity to make choices that perhaps they never thought of, and maybe that people have never thought of and society has never thought of about me and my family moving to Mexico and going back to our roots, going back to the country where our family is from. So I'm here today to tell you why I don't consider myself an expat, why I don't like that word, things that should change as it relates to people being expats and that I believe should, in my opinion, things that I believe should change when it comes to people identifying themselves as an expat and why I don't like that word really. And so I hope that you can stick around in this episode porque I'm going to share about, why I don't consider myself an expat And so I think right now there's, like, this huge debate about why people shouldn't consider themselves expats, but then those that do say that they are expats, that they should remain sort of like that definition and that description. And so I think we need to talk about what is an expat and to have an understanding of that definition, and I'm gonna put on a critical lens about that. Um, so if you don't feel comfortable about that, about what I'm going to say, I mean, I think this is part of the conversation and part of that debate in terms of who, you know, why people shouldn't be considered expats and who should be or what have you. So the first thing that I wanna share with you is the definition of an expat. So an expat for me, it means that it's someone who is literally leaving their country to a different country, to a different, uh, culture perhaps, a different language, a place in which there is no sort of lineage connected to that person. and it's usually what you may think of, and I definitely think of that type of individual, right? About an expat, I often think about a white American who is going into a country that is usually much cheaper for them to live in, and a country in which there are no ties related to their cultural identity, their language identity. And so there is no sort of relevancy in terms of who they were, and now they're going into a whole different country. And it's usually people that, in my opinion, are, like, retired, retired individuals that unfortunately cannot afford to live in the United States, Or someone from, like, a European country or even Canada, right? That, you know, they j- they either can't afford it or that are old enough, you know, where they have enough in their savings and, you know, they can sustain themselves. But they intentionally go to a much cheaper country because that is a way in which they can make ends meet, and also for them to essentially sustain themselves. in addition to, like, a retired person, I think about a young adult who is a digital nomad, right? So those that can work from anywhere abroad, but perhaps want to have, like, a different cultural experience. So there's a- Ton of digital nomads currently living in Mexico City. Pero también there's a influx of people moving to Spain and Portugal as well. And again, it's for that intentionality of going somewhere where the cost of living isn't as much compared to if that person were to live in New York City or San Francisco. Yeah. So these are usually single people that can definitely afford and have obviously the freedom to choose where they would wanna go. The other type of person that I often think about an expat Is a couple, so not just a single person, but a couple that are able to, again, sustain themselves, but they wanna either have a different cultural experience. There's a huge trend of, like, these individuals road tripping. Like, they go from, like, California all the way until, like, the, uh, the coast, and they drive through Mexico, Central America, and then they end up at the very tip of Patagonia in Argentina and South America. So, like, these are individuals that are able to have the resources and the ability to just, like, go anywhere, and then they just wanna explore the wo- the world. And for me, I mean, I have a, a very uncomfortable feeling about expats And I don't think I feel comfortable enough to have a relationship with expats. I mean, and really, I don't know anyone personally who is considered themselves an expat. I know a lot of white Americans that immigrated to Mexico, but they consider themselves immigrants. And I'm gonna share with you a little bit about the difference between being an immigrant versus an expat. But, um, I, I have noticed that this word isn't relevant to me. And the thing is that people, I think, are misidentifying, like, who an expat is. And me, even myself, m- I'm probably not providing a full description of what an expat is. But it, in my understanding, again, it's someone who flees their country, to a different country that perhaps they're not even familiar with, that they have no identification with, that there is no sort of tie with who they are or who, what their family is. And so that, for me, I don't classify myself as an expat, and I will never consider myself an expat. Because I literally am coming back to the country where my family came from. I am only one generation away from when my parents left, right? Like, they literally left Mexico in their teens. My dad was 14, and my mom was eight years old, Like, she had no other choice but to go with her family, just like many people in the United States, especially for the DACA people, uh, who are currently in the United States, that they had no choice, but they just left with their family. And so 30 years later, right? I am here and I decided to come back to the country where they left. And it's not like I am trying to be intentional of, like, live this life that is still Americanized or whatever. Like, I am being immersed into the culture, I am being immersed into the, the community here that I am still learning and appreciating and trying to figure out, like, okay, how do I really fit in? Because let's face it, for us as children of immigrants, there is always this struggle of, like, trying to fit in and, and wanting to prove ourselves, whether if we are American enough or Mexican enough. You know, there's just this very, you know, unique dynamic about who we are and where do we belong And I think that for me, I definitely notice that expat wasn't even a category or a definition of who we are just because of that, that we are more connected to Mexico than other people who even, like, if you're two or three generations behind, like, I am still close. Like, I- it's just one little missing block between my generation and my parents that, you know, we are almost like a third culture kid, where we have this blend of an identity being Mexicanos, you know, hijos de Mexicanos, but also being born and raised in the United States. And for me, that's something that I appreciate, right? Because I know that this was a part of the, the, the bigger dream of my parents, especially as immigrants, you know? They did all of the struggle, they did all of the sacrifices so that we can have an easier life. But something in us sort of told us, like, "You also belong in Mexico, and this is your opportunity to do this." And now that I see it as someone who i- is almost a year into living in Mexico, and now that I brought, um, I, we brought our family, our kids, I think that It is a very privileged thing that we did because we had options. We had the choice to make the decision to move to Mexico, but it's also in a way of saying, like, you belong in two different places. And for me, I think that is beautiful to, for us to show our kids that, hey, yes, you were born in the United States just like Mami and, and Daddy, pero this is, like, a bigger picture for you to understand that you also belong in a different country. It's not just the United States, it's also in Mexico. And it's allowing us to be connected to our ancestors, to the, the Madre Tierra, right? And, and to have that unique experience that oftentimes people don't get to have or choose not to have because either they have a misunderstanding of what Mexico is, or they're afraid that they're not gonna fit in because their Spanish isn't perfect, or that perhaps they have this negative perception of Mexico because that's the only thing that they knew. And I think that for us it's not that, again, we're not, we're not expats because we already know la cultura, we already know the language. Like, my first language was Spanish. My kids' native language is, is Spanish tambien. And so it's not like we're going into this super foreign country that we're not familiar with. Like, no, we have this sense of belonging in Mexico as well. And I'm sure the majority of people who are children of immigrants, they probably feel like they're not connected to Mexico, but in reality you are. And that is a difference between being an expat versus, like, you are immigrating into the country where your family is from. And really there isn't a word that I have in, in terms of what describes us. I mean, we're not reverse migrating. And, and in fact, in the beginning I used to say that we are reverse migrating. Um, but technically, I mean, we weren't born and raised here, right? In, in Mexico. And so I, I don't know. I think it's more so about going back to your family's country or going back to the motherland. I don't know if there's a, like, a word that can describe that. But I know that at the end of the day we're not expats. Okay? it's gonna be a year that we moved to Mexico, and it's wild. I still remember this time last year, like we were literally packing. We had like 10 days or something like that to start, um, hitting the road, and I remember that I was at, at, at the very end of our packing and everything, like getting things ready, like, I was just like, in a way, scared to, to come to a different country because it, it- at the end of the day, it is a different country, right? And it is a country that I am, was never used to, like I never grew up in. I remember coming here for some summers, but it was just to a very short extent of like just having a glimpse and short understanding of what Mexico is. And now that I'm here, it's a whole different perspective I have about Mexico. But I think what's different now that we have been here for almost a year is that- You know, for some people that are considered expats, for them it's like a cultural type of experience where they get some sort of cultural fluency that all of a sudden they're experts because they lived in Mexico for, like, a year. And while, yes, that's cool I guess, but there's still some other layers to this to really being fluent in you living abroad. And for me, like Even though I was brought up mostly like Mexicana, you know, I grew up listening to musica de, de Mexico, from, like, all different eras. And it's funny enough, like, people are just starting to know about Juan Gabriel, and it's like, um, hello, we, we've known about Juan Gabriel for the longest. And so there's just, like, a lot of things that w- we were still connected to our identity as Mexicans, pero también it was like a blend of Americanism, right? And so I think that makes a difference between an expat versus, like, a non-expat, is that e- tho- expats are usually wanting to... They're essentially getting an introductory course, especially during their first year of their move, about, like, what, you know, Mexico is and/or, you know, what type of cultural immersion they're getting in themselves into. Whereas compared to us, like, we are becoming fluent in the day-to-day sort of things. Like, for example, just understanding the, the government, um, bureaucracies that that are involved here in Mexico. We're getting a better understanding of, like, the school system because of our kids. We are, um, understanding sort of, like, unspoken norms that clearly are distinct between, like, us being born and raised in the United States versus in Mexico. But in terms of, like, us communicating, you know, um, engaging into, like, the culture and people and around us, like, we already have that. Like, when I have asked people in Mexico, especially, like, uh, new friends I was like, "Okay, ¿ustedes qué piensan de nosotros? Like, ¿somos Mexicanos? ¿Somos Americanos? ¿Somos gringos? ¿Qué, qué, cómo somos?" And they were like, "No, pues son Mexicanos." And I was like, "Pero in what way?" Because I, we weren't born here. Like, we weren't raised here, and there are still a lot of things that we're learning. And they're like, "Look..." And one of my friends told us, "Ustedes son Mexicanos porque saben el idioma. Tienen los mismos valores como nosotros. Ustedes se- ustedes tienen la cultura ya hecha." And it's, and, a- and I believe that that's true. I mean, we have the same values as any person here in Mexico. And- We obviously can communicate with people. We understand, like, what it's like to be Mexican, pero obviously in a different way, right? And that is part of this this sort of diaspora about what is it that makes us Mexicanos? And, and I think that again, for expats, they're not going to ever understand that. And also, we decided to move to a city that is super near to where my family is from. E incluso yo tengo familia aquí en León. So we knew that we wanted to go somewhere where someone that we knew is in our reach, right? If in case there were to be an emergency or if in case we need support, and also just to, like, convivir, you know, to, with, with people. And that's the one thing that sort of, there's, like, this big comparison, right? Like, there's a lot of expat groups, and trust me, I'm a part of all these expat groups on Facebook. Nada más por el chisme. But there's so many people that say, "I wanna move to a city in México where there's a lot of expats, where I can have community, where I can get along with people who are just like me." It's like, if you wanna have that, just stay in the United States. Like, you don't have to- Have your own little bubble because that's what the US is all about. It's all about segregation. And like if you want to have that little bubble here in Mexico, like what? And so that for me pisses me off because it's like you're not integrating yourself into the cultura. You're not integrating yourself with like the people for them to get to know you or for you to get to know really what it's like to be a Mexicano here in Mexico. And at least for us, we have leveraged ourselves, right? Where, you know, I think that's part of who we- we've been in the United States anyway, where we are really good at code switching. We are really good at like trying to fit in and trying to be in two different places at one really. And I think that now with us being here in Mexico, like we've already attained those skills, where in a way it's funny, like I can just be myself and people will understand that I am not from here. Like as soon as I open my mouth, they know that I am not from Mexico. Like they-- I can blend in physically, but as soon as I open my mouth, like people know that I'm not from here. But at least they're open and willing to understand who we are, and they're accepting of it. that is part of my immersion as part of being a part of the community here. in comparison, expats for the most part, and I'm just generalizing, right? But for the most part, based on what I see on these Facebook groups, is that, that they wanna be in a bubble still, and that's not cool. And that is a difference between an expat versus a non-expat And so I think that our experience now that we're about to have a year here in Mexico has been that there has been a lot of hate out there on social media, and I know it's social media, right? Like, social media is a different beast, a different monster. Many of these people are probably, you know, like bots or whatever. Um, but for the most part, here having this, like, experience aqui en Mexico, everyone has received us with open arms. In a way, they, they don't understand our reason why we moved here, but I think it's, again, to be closer to this part of our identity that perhaps we've been craving for or perhaps that our ancestors kind of, like, pushed us into and that way we are closer to who we are as, as Mexicanos. And I think that that in itself is a very unique experience versus those that have no sense of identity, no sense of understanding of what it's like to be Mexicano, in this case for those that immigrated to Mexico. And so I think that the debate between being an immigrant versus an expat, I mean, there's this huge, like, debate about if you're an expat, you're an immigrant. But people who consider themselves expats will never consider themselves immigrants because of the color of their skin. And for the most part, I, I Based on my analysis and based on what I've seen, again, on these Facebook groups and, you know, just people that I see online, people that do consider themselves expats, for the most part, are white people. And I think that because they grew up in a country like the United States where it's supposed to be a melting pot, I think that they've always been uncomfortable with the word immigrant because they associate with that, with a brown or Black person. when in fact their ancestors were the immigrants, right? Without papers going into the United States. And I think that, that in itself, expat is a very privileged word where, again, it's people that just wanna go to a different country because they have that privilege. They have that choice. They have that opportunity where they're not connected to the culture, where they're not connected to the language, where they ha- they're not connected to their lineage, and then they just decide to just go to a different country. And I think that being an expat is essentially another form of being an immigrant, but I don't think that they wanna consider themselves that way, and I think it's because of the histories that were involved with colonization, with slavery, with forced migration, and, and I think that they just don't wanna feel uncomfortable with considering themselves immigrants. And I think it's because of that sort of negative connotation that they grew up with. but that's just my opinion. I don't know. Let me know what your opinions are, whether if it's in the comments on YouTube, or if you are listening, you can share them to me at podcast@vivalamami.com, or you can send me an IG message. But I think that that is one of the reasons why people don't consider themselves immigrants, because let's face it, historically immigrants have been someone of a lesser sort of, status, whether if it's through color of skin, through religion, through, like, geographic location. But at the end of the day, I believe that anyone that flees their own home country and goes to a different one, regardless if you are tied to it or not, you are an immigrant. And that is because you are going into a different country with your own different passport, and you are settling yourself in without having documentation that proves that you're from that country. And even for myself, right? Like, even though we are dual citizens, we have two passports I still consider myself a child of immigrants, but I'm I've also immigrated to that country where my family is from. and I think that's okay. Like, that's fine. immigration, I mean, it's a whole n- it's a normal process, and if you ever want to flee your own country for various reasons, whether if it's political, economic, religious, you know, whatever reason that y- it's motivating you to move out of your own country and going into a different one, understand that you're going into a different country, and we have to respect it. We have to integrate and immerse ourselves into it. We have to get to know the people and understand the systems that are in place, and understand, like, the beauty of it and not the beauty of it, right? And all of this is part of an immigration story. It's all going to be part of a migration story that is going to be unique to you and to your own experience. But at the end of the day, being an expat, again, it's a very privileged word. It's just an identifier for a group of individuals that will never consider themselves an immigrant, but when you really look at the root of it and the true definition and the reasons why they decided to move f- the first place from their country, they're immigrants. So you tell me, what are your thoughts? I'm not asking you if, for your opinion if whether I am an expat or not, or an immigrant. I already know who I am. But in your opinion, should expat be even a word? Should it be just immigration and that's it? So you let me know. and so if this resonated with you, I'd love for you to get to my newsletter, In which I go deeper into these reflections than compared to here on the podcast. And so you can join my newsletter on the link in, here in the screen, also in the description of the show notes, and that way you can join the VLM family, so that way you get to hear more about my reflections, but also you get to hear about new episodes that aired out that week, any events, any promotions, any future announcements as well, because I share that on my newsletter first before the podcast, and obviously before social media. And if you are considering a move to Mexico, know that I do offer one-on-one consultations with families who are interested in moving to Mexico, especially for those that are children of Mexicanos who want to reclaim their cultura, that wanna get back to the motherland. And so if you wanna know more about my one-on-one consultations, you can click on the link in the show notes or in the description of this video, And that way we can brainstorm and work together and create an actual plan so that you can get here if you're ever interested in moving back to Mexico. All right, amiga, well this was a short solo episode. I hope this was helpful for you to have an understanding of the definition of what is it to be an expat versus an immigrant, and especially someone like me, who is still trying to figure out a word. Maybe I can coin it in the future. But at the end of the day, know that we are moving individuals. We don't have to stay where we're at, right? Like, we c- we can go anywhere where we would like if we are given that opportunity. But it is important to understand the differences between what it's, is to be an expat versus an immigrant. And that way, you know, we can kind of break this debate and we call it what it is. So again, let me know what your thoughts are. You can message me on Instagram, @vivalamami, or you can reply on the comments section here on this YouTube video. And as always, thank you so much for listening. Hasta la próxima, y nos vemos in the next episode.